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10. You dread someone asking you if you want to hold their child
First of all, holding a child without dropping him/her on their head is a lot of pressure.
Secondly, the child is most certainly going to start crying and you’re going to have to go through the whole, “I think she wants her Mammy!” rigmarole.
Thursday 7 November, 2024
Thursday 7 November, 2024
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13 facts of life for people who are bad with kids
1. First of all, it’s not that you don’t like kids…
Let’s get that much straight.
2. It’s just that you’re really, really bad with them
3. In fact, you’ve been known to inadvertently make them cry
You: *holds child for one second*
Child: *wails*
4. You watch other people interact with children and they make it look so effortless
Adult: Hello Charlie! How are you today?
Child: *giggles, makes it clear that he loves this person*
You: Hi Charlie!
Child: *backs away slowly, hides behind Mam’s leg*
5. But when you do it, it’s a car crash from beginning to end
6. You’ve been known to make funny faces at kids on the bus and get this in response
“Is that supposed to amuse me?”
7. And you haven’t a notion what kids like to talk about
“So… how about the government formation, eh?”
8. You certainly don’t know any good baby talk
You: “Goo goo ga ga?”
Baby: ”Oh man, I feel sorry for you.”
9. You have been known to accidentally refer to babies as “it” well after they’ve been born
Thus making yourself seem even more heartless than you actually are.
10. You dread someone asking you if you want to hold their child
First of all, holding a child without dropping him/her on their head is a lot of pressure.
Secondly, the child is most certainly going to start crying and you’re going to have to go through the whole, “I think she wants her Mammy!” rigmarole.
Don’t put your baby through it.
11. “Em, take this off me, please.”
12. To top it all off, you have yet to master the art of pretending a child’s drawing is good
“Oh lovely!”
13. You’re sure you’ll get better in time.
For now, though, you’re content to admire babies from afar.
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Craic he wants his mammy KIDS